


I Won't Give Up

by d0mesticbliss



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Adorable, Cute, F/M, Love, One Shot Collection, Philinda - Freeform, prompt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-03
Updated: 2014-11-03
Packaged: 2018-02-23 23:56:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2560487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d0mesticbliss/pseuds/d0mesticbliss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is going to be a series of One-Shots for Philinda! Total fluff and perhaps some angst. I'm not sure yet, but I'm getting new prompts every chapter. I use some prompts from a tumblr blog called OTPPrompts and some of my own, but if you have any ideas that you want me to write, I'll do my best to add it in for you! I hope you all enjoy! Please comment and give me kudos and all that jazz! This is my first Philinda Fic, so suggestions and advice are welcome! Thank you!</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Won't Give Up

_It's Exhausting Pretending to Not Be a "Thing"_

_Post Episode 4_

_(I totally modified the prompt. I think it's a better fit for the story the way I changed it. You'll understand when you read it.)_

**_Undercover work_ (noun): _one of the many things Agent Melinda May hates the most out of all the possible things to hate in the world of espionage._**

_Of course he did it. He manipulated me into going on this mission with him, knowing that I couldn't refuse looking after him._

May was enraged. He made her smile and talk and aim to please. She had to show off all of her "assets" to be inconspicuous. He made her _laugh_ for God's sake! She had never felt more exposed. But damn it. She would do anything for him, and he knew it.

Now, May was piloting the plane after finally slipping into much more comfortable and conservative clothing. She was guiding the team back to base - back to safety. Melinda May would never admit it, but ever since everyone's secrets had been exposed (aside from Coulson's carving), a sort of maternal instinct took over. If one member of the team was injured, physically or mentally, May took it upon herself to not rest until she had checked them out to make sure they were alright. Perhaps that's why the solitude was so comforting. She could reflect in private without showing her vulnerable side to the rest of the team. She could be released from the tight grip of that mask she wore every day for a little bit before putting it back on to become "The Cavalry". Lord, she hated that name, but it helped her gain respect. Hell, that is always a good thing in the business she works in.

Today was...eventful. The burns along her collarbone didn't hurt when they were administered or even while she was gaining new injuries fighting that horrid "clone" of hers, but now, they stung against the tight-fitting suit she was wearing. She took a moment to catalogue all the injuries she had sustained. Bruised ribs, several cuts from the struggle between herself and the "clone", and of course the burns. There were most likely more cuts and bruises along her body, but nothing that would impede her movement. Melinda May had gone through much more; this was nothing. She grimaced slightly, but it wasn't because of the abuse her body had taken today. What had that other version of herself told Coulson? She must've been much more light-hearted and more enjoyable to be with. Did Phil like her more?

_Get over yourself, Melinda May._

She rolled her eyes at herself.

_Quit your self-pity. It's an ugly color on you._

It reminded her of something her mother would say. May hastily changed subjects in her mind. There are a _lot_ of things her mother would say about her feelings for this man. Her mother was traditional to simply put it.

May mentally shook her head hoping it would clear her thoughts. She was successful.

It was nice - going on a mission with Phil again. _Nostalgia._ She had an excuse to touch him. She had an excuse to actually show the side of her that never went away, the part of her that loves unconditionally; the part of her that will never give up on him. On the possibility of a _them_. It was a beautiful thing to hold on to. It was a sort of _hope_ that even she didn't think she could ever possess again. He always came first. Before anything else. He would always come first. That's never changed, and it never will.

Suddenly, May felt a wetness on her cheek, and her hands were clenched so tightly against the wheel that her knuckles were turning white. Quickly, she swept the intrusion off her cheek, however, that caused a hiss of pain, for she had disturbed the burns on her chest. May heard a slight noise coming toward her from the other side of the entrance to the cockpit.

_Shit._

Her stoic mask replaced her momentary sighting of weakness as a man walked in and sat down in the co-pilot's seat.

_Coulson._

Even his silent presence sent a wave of security through her. She had so much to talk to him about, but she knew he only wanted to talk about "The Plan". The one that would require her to _'eliminate the threat'_. She will never be able to do that, and be able to live with herself afterwards.

He opened his mouth to speak, yet she cut him off before he could say it.

“I don't want to talk about it.”

Coulson exhaled a small sigh.

“I was actually going to say 'hello', but-”

“This isn't a joking matter, Phil.”

She took her eyes of the monotonous sky to stare a him, her emotions were bare to him. She threw away the mask for him, for he needed to understand what this was doing to her. He needed to grasp the fact that she wouldn't be able to live with herself if he made her do this.

“Please,” she uttered. Surprisingly, her voice nearly cracked and tears sprung in the corners of her eyes. This never happened. She never allowed it to happen, however, she could care less about keeping up appearances at this moment.

“May-” he tried again, this time, he tried to place a comforting hand on hers, but she moved her hand out of his grasp, turning back toward the unchanging clouds, finding the stoic mask once more.

Coulson knew he wasn't going to get anything else out of her, so he stayed put in his seat and attempted to stare her down. Which, of course, was a one-sided thing, for May was no longer paying him any heed. He took this moment to shamelessly admire the woman beside him. She is strong, kind, though cold-hearted on the outside, he knows that she is probably the most emotionally invested out of everyone else here, and she is beautiful. God, he would never get over how beautiful she is. _Nostalgia._ It was such a refreshing, enticing experience to re-invent. He missed her. She was so much more closed off, yet he knew she was trying. She was doing her best to open back up to him, and he knew it must've been difficult to stay here when he had accused her of betraying him. He had lost faith in her, and even though at the time it seemed like the most plausible reason to lose the trust between them, now, it seemed foolish. He understood now that everything she had done was to protect him because she was looking out for him. That night that she attempted to explain herself for keeping the hidden phone line to Fury a secret, he had heard her slip. She had almost told him how she really felt. She almost told him she loved him, but he didn't need her to say anything. He knew. He could only hope she comprehended his feelings for her. He would give anything to be with her, but he's a ticking time bomb. He could hurt her or another member of the team, and he didn't want to be the one to hurt them. He wouldn't be able to live with himself. That is why he keeps his distance because he knows how much potential he has of hurting her. It gets harder everyday to keep her safe. He can see the pain he is already inflicting on her even though she believes the mask she wears hides it all. He knows her too well. Phil Coulson is 'The Director'. He's always dreamed of one day achieving this 'spot on the totem pole', but not like this. He was supposed to be stable. He was supposed have everything straight in his life, but his life is anything but straight. And staring at this gorgeous woman beside him, he just wishes he could give her more, for that is what she deserves.

~~ (1 hour later) ~~

He had stayed for her. He lay there in the co-pilot's seat, sound asleep. It had been an exhausting day. May smiled and made sure the autopilot was on before removing her headset and abandoning the chair to kneel alongside Phil's chair. She looked admirably upon his face while running her fingers through his hair. This was never a side of her she let anyone see, but here, she was just Melinda May. And Melinda May was alone with Phil Coulson. She stroke his cheek and lay a kiss to his forehead. His eyelids fluttered, but he was still asleep.

This would've looked completely gossip worthy to Skye if she were there, but to May, it was nothing new. She and Phil had been close in the Academy and they've always cared about each other. Whenever the other needed it, they would comfort each other. May sat on the floor next to Coulson's seat and placed her hand atop his, leaning her head against the chair underneath the armrest.

She remembered once at the Academy when she hadn't passed one of her assessments, and she was devastated. Phil found out and abandoned studying for _his_ exam to come comfort her. He came to her room and he held her. He caressed her skin, cooed as if caring for a child, listened to what she had to say, and continued to hold her even after she fell asleep. She'd wake up to him still holding her. He was always like that, coming to her rescue whenever possible. She never needed rescuing. She just needed him. She would've been okay without him, but with him, she felt better. The pain was bearable without him, however, it was nonexistent whenever he was there, so for her to be there for him now was the least she could do after all the times he helped her.

She assured herself that they wouldn't be landing for another couple hours, so she allowed herself to be content with the comfort of him. She sighed, still holding his hand and leaning against his seat for support. She attempted to fall asleep, but her body was not compliant. So, she settled for basking in the ease of the situation. He was safe; the team was safe, and that was good enough for her.

~~ (2 hours later) ~~

May was again seated in the pilot's seat with her headset on, preparing for the landing. Coulson was just waking up from the well-deserved couple hours of sleep he had achieved. His hand felt warm.

“We're about to land,” May stated.

He had so much he wanted to say, but none of it was appropriate.

Abruptly, May asked a question, still focusing on the outside.

“Was she a better version of me?”

_Better version?_

“Better version?” Coulson asked with a confused expression drawn across his face.

“The other me. Was she better?”

_Where is this coming from? May's never insecure._

“Are you kidding me?”

May's face twitched a little at that answer, but she couldn't look him in the eye. She'd become vulnerable again. The landing strip was visible by now and they were approaching it fairly quickly.

“Nevermind. Forget I asked. We're here,” May quickly spoke.

The plane swiftly landed, and was hastily parked. May hurried out of the cockpit and off the plane, leaving Coulson speechless in the co-pilot's seat.

~~

She was exhausted. All she wanted was to sleep, but all she could think about was Phil. She didn't know what prompted the question out of her. It came out of nowhere. It was as if she'd lost control of her own mouth.

_What is happening to me?_

She thought about doing yoga or drinking some non-caffeinated tea or even pulverizing a punching bag, but none of them felt right. She just wanted him. She wanted him to come comfort her and hold her until she fell asleep again. She _needed_ him, yet at the same time, she didn't want to push him because in her experience, that's the quickest way to lose the people she cares about.

She didn't have much time to think about it, for Coulson walked through the door to her bedroom. She looked up from her seated position on her bed to him. Promptly, she rose from her seat and stood, arms crossed, in front of him. No use looking weak.

“No, she wasn't better,” he began. He crossed the short distance from his space at the door after closing it behind him. Melinda shifted her feet and blink several times before focusing on his eyes. He cupped the left side of her face in his hand, and she involuntarily leaned into his touch, briefly closing her eyes and releasing a shaky exhale.

“No one could ever replace you. I'd much rather prefer you over any other "clone" out in this world. But you know this already, don't you?”

She brought her eyes back up to his, and just nodded. She couldn't bring herself to do anything else.

As if a force pulled them together, they both melted into each other's arms. Melinda allowed her face to become enveloped in Phil's chest, his arms wrapped around her lower back, hers clasped around his waist, assuring that he couldn't pull away without her releasing her grip. They both inhaled each other's scent. Her smell reminded him of the years before everything happened. The time when everything was simpler. His scent surrounded her with a sense of safety and sanctuary. In that moment, it was just them. Nothing else mattered.

After minutes of simply embracing each other, they finally pulled away, and Melinda decided to allow her vulnerable side to be exposed for him.

“Please, stay.”

Silently, he removed his shoes and so did she. He removed his jacket as she did the same to reveal her tank top. She held his hand to lead him to the bed and motioned for him to lay down under the covers. She crawled in after him and snuggled into him. They were both facing each other when Melinda simply said, “Thank you.”

Their eyes flickered to each other's lips, and they looked back up into each other's eyes. Slowly, their lips brushed against each other before locking and moving together as if in a transcendent dance. It was a sweet kiss. It wasn't hurried, and it wasn't full of lust. It was simply filled with love. Moments passed before they pulled apart. Melinda smiled at Phil and he returned the gesture.

“I love you,” she whispered, one hand caressing his cheek. He kissed her once more.

“And I love you,” he replied, pure adoration lacing his words and a hand carefully combing through her hair.

Melinda dropped her head down to his chest and her hand rested near the nape of his neck as she spoke, “I've missed you. I've missed _this_.”

Phil continued the movement of his hand in her hair as he responded, “I know. I have too, but I just couldn't hurt, I can't hurt-”

“Phil, please. Don't,” Melinda cut him off before he could continue, “We can discuss that later. I just need you to hold me right now. Just let me be selfish this once. Please.”

“I'm right here,” was all he said in response. Perhaps this gave him more opportunities to hurt her, but no matter the nature of their relationship, he'll always have the potential to hurt her. At least now, they will both enjoy every moment they have - together.

For the rest of the night, Phil lay there with Melinda until even after she fell asleep just basking in the glorious moment that he can't get everyday. He basked in her, unable to sleep for a long time, just able to stroke her hair and caress her facial features as she slept, peacefully. It wasn't often he got to see this side of her, but every time she allowed him a glimpse, he cherished every moment of it. He always would.

_Prompt: Imagine your OTP returning tired from a long car trip, and being so tired they just sort of flop on the couch and fall asleep huddled up that way. *Prompt Courtesy of OTPPrompts on Tumblr._

_**A/N: I don't know if I did well with this or not...If it isn't very well-written, I'm really sorry becausei wrote this between the hours of 12:30 and 3:00 AM. And I edited three hours later at 6:30 AM. HAHA!! Anyway I hope you enjoyed! I promise that the next one will be better! Oh, and if you haven't noticed, I'll be delving deeper into Melinda May's emotional pool, so be prepared! Thank you for reading!** _


End file.
